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Winter Kill
Contributed by
killer
on
Sunday, 29th December 2002 @ 11:40:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Perilous footing,
On the slippery slope.
Its hard to hang on,
In the absence of hope.
Bruised and battered,
By lifes icy hands.
Though I am numb,
I still struggle to stand.
A voice inside whispers,
Hey man, stay down.
Dont you know when youre beaten?
Just stay on the ground.
Too weary to fight it,
I give in to the chill,
Embrace the cold truth,
And become winterkill.
December 23,2002
Copyright ©
killer
... [
2002-12-29 23:40:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Winter Kill
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 30th December 2002 @ 01:37:44 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Dear Killer @-<-<
many many times I have felt this way... this is an excellent write... thank you for sharing...
Your friend always Nessa
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Re: Winter Kill
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Monday, 30th December 2002 @ 02:05:41 AM AEST
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I liked this poem great imagery and feeling. I have felt like this a lot of times. The lines, 'Bruised and battered, By life's icy hands' really spoke to me great poem.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Winter Kill
(User Rating: 1 )
by EmSal on
Monday, 30th December 2002 @ 05:27:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Wow loved it! |
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Re: Winter Kill
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Monday, 30th December 2002 @ 06:14:16 AM AEST
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| Wonderful write ... love this poem. |
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Re: Winter Kill
(User Rating: 1 )
by Icequeen on
Friday, 3rd January 2003 @ 12:09:37 PM AEST
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| Excellent. Short and to the point, but you still get imagery in there beautifully. Love it. |
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Re: Winter Kill
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 05:50:22 AM AEST
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Nice poem. I really like your rhythm and rhyme.
However - I would change this part -
"Though I am numb,
I still struggle to stand. "
to
"Though I am numb,
I still manage to stand. "
I think it sounds better. But that's my opinion.
Nice work. |
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