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Two Old Letters
Contributed by
youlied
on
Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 06:18:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
I.
Years have passed since I've seen your face,
heard your voice, or even imagined
You. Me. A well-spun, well-tangled web
Of lost sighs and lost cries
The lost hellos and lost goodbyes
But now you've gone
and hurt another.
I thought you'd grow
(As I have)
You really should know
Luck's not on your side
II.
I've been there, poor friend
You're a magnet surrounded
by choking, crying, lonely, needy
paperclips. But I pity you not, you've heard my side,
although you've felt for me. The trees don't leave
for you, poor friend;
They always leave
For me.
Copyright ©
youlied
... [
2005-05-16 18:18:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Two Old Letters
(User Rating: 1 )
by Pyrate on
Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 09:06:46 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| a good poem, might want to take out the paperclip metaphor, something doesn't seem to click with it. just my opinion though. that is the danger with commenting on poetry, it is personal expression. and that very much depends on your personality |
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