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Colorblind
Contributed by
Jaycee
on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 12:56:57 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
the detail so sharp
in crisp black and white
but the world's about color
and I'm lonely tonite
i'd finally deciphered the map
in a world full of hues
but charting the course
destined me to lose
people will point fingers
saying it's clearly my fault
when the treasure was in sight
slowly open the vault
i'd uncaged my eyes
and seen a world of brilliance
but the glare was too much
i was such a dunce
but i thought i could do this
and live like the rest
really wanted to live
and have a life that is best
but the world is a maze
where green is like red
Stumbling my way through
just like an airhead
the world's a dangerous place
for one colorblind
true happiness elusive
afraid I won't find
so time to close my eyes
and with my last breath
it is back to the cage
safe emotional death
Copyright ©
Jaycee
... [
2005-05-19 00:56:57]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Colorblind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 01:20:55 AM AEST
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Jaycee
beautiful and well written poem It touched my heart and you dont have to be lonely, colors can brighten
Leia |
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Re: Colorblind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jaycee on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 01:30:11 AM AEST
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Just an FYI for the readers of this. I originally had this planned for after the 6th stanza. Forgot to include it and not sure if it would fit, anyway:
for the first time in life
understand how cutters must feel
to let out the pain
a solution so real |
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Re: Colorblind
(User Rating: 1 )
by crap_snapper on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 03:49:40 AM AEST
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| This is a good poem and well written. I think you did well to leave out the extra verse as for me it would have changed the mood of the poem, i enjoy the wandering melancholy with a sad ending. Color is spelt colour in England where i'm from. :) |
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Re: Colorblind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 06:12:49 AM AEST
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Really heartfelt...and Leia is right..Colours can and DO brighten.... Don't focus so much on the colours..you'll see...
Jenni |
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Re: Colorblind
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 07:21:19 AM AEST
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Wow this poem is a feast for the eyes. A really wonderful written poem.
i do agree with Leila and JenniK you'll see the colors of the world if you tried your best.
Jane xxx |
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Re: Colorblind
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 08:09:40 AM AEST
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AMAZING poem jaycee. ur thoughts were very tragic and touched me deeply...i kno how very blackening loneliness can be to ones soul.
just great poem
my world is black and white too...where are the magical colours |
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Re: Colorblind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fears on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 09:33:09 AM AEST
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a very touching and meaningful write! Colors are vfery interesting so I hope that soon We all see them the way they are supposed to be
~Fears~~ |
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Re: Colorblind
(User Rating: 1 )
by blue_angel on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 10:24:01 AM AEST
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gosh that is an amazing write! you say your colors are black and white eh? as are mine, as are mine. it takes time for your eyes to adjust sometimes... ull eventually see the color as clear as crystal. it may start dull but dont worry, it will brighten. youre not alone, ppl care.
luv n hugs,
jennie* |
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