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At the bottom of a glass
Contributed by
In_a_While
on
Friday, 20th May 2005 @ 08:35:06 AM in AEST
Topic:
ambiguous
|
my dreams are all just broken ice
nothing's left to be called nice
melting before my eyes again
they'll distort until they end.
in this cup of life's great downs
i bang the walls despite no sounds
won't someone please fill this cup
so i can drown float lifeless up
the other sun is on the ceiling
flickering light of sometimes feeling
dust is settling on my soul
no one drink's from my cup's hole
wash me clean so i may shine
and wait for wine the taste of time
fill me up so i can swim
empty me to not let me in...
Copyright ©
In_a_While
... [
2005-05-20 08:35:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: At the bottom of a glass
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Friday, 20th May 2005 @ 10:35:22 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I like the poem a lot, although I feel I don't understand it very well. The first stanza I really like. The way you deal with loosing dreams is fantastic... the imagery just great. The remained I feel is very well written, but more mysterious and ambiguous... which is good
Well done
Will |
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Re: At the bottom of a glass
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Friday, 20th May 2005 @ 11:48:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Excellent wording in this poem! I thoroughly enjoyed this write...Keep it up!
Scorp. |
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