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The Island and the Mountain
Contributed by
Jaycee
on
Friday, 20th May 2005 @ 12:12:05 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
The world has just grown
by leap and a bound
my support structure's gone
it's nowhere to be found
The ocean surrounds me
and it is pirrahna infested
should've seen it coming
i'd been too invested
In the people in my life
they are sailing away
do I jump into the water
and do I do it today
The island is where I've been
like a pirate marrooned
crimson spilling on the surf
from a deep bloody wound
Can't motivate myself
to stop the blood if I dare
Don't want food or drink
I really don't care
Behind looms the mountain
a way out of this place
it thrusts into the clouds
into outer space
Can I raise myself up
climb the mountain of fire
it is a task oh so daunting
i have no desire
I suspect that she's up there
waiting so patiently
mountain side is so steep
the climb's not in me
Alone on the island
where I have not a wife
i can't reach a girlfriend
just my worthless life
This world is too big
its rules so complex
i will just die here
and no one objects
Copyright ©
Jaycee
... [
2005-05-20 12:12:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Island and the Mountain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 20th May 2005 @ 12:37:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is a really true tale of the lost at sea feeling we get. Nice rhythm and flow and the rhyme scheme works. I can be quite symmetrical too, and should revise my works before posting. lol
But sometimes we just need to get it out into the universe so others can share our despair too. Great write! Angel always...joni |
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Re: The Island and the Mountain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 20th May 2005 @ 12:38:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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well expressed lethargy and some self pity thrown in.
A good write, but get up and live!!! |
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Re: The Island and the Mountain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Friday, 20th May 2005 @ 09:24:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Hey Jaycee, you could have invited me to the pity party!!! Nice write tho...
Hugs
Jenni |
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Re: The Island and the Mountain
(User Rating: 1 )
by blue_angel on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 09:26:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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aww thats so sad... dont werry things will werk out, they always do... look at me. i was so depressed n all, but now im doing so much better... i still got lotsa issues but im trying not to let them get to me. dont let the past haunt you, dont let your problems and troubles blind you from seeing the amazing world that has been laid out before you. discover and explore,
luv n hugs,
jennie* |
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