|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Time
Contributed by
stellar
on
Sunday, 22nd May 2005 @ 08:59:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
Confused couldn't even describe it
Lost would imply I knew what I couldn't find
But one thing seems very clear to me
There is a mass of clutter within my mind
So much emotion going in and out
But only the bad appears to stay
Between my Grandad and you
I walk through my life in a fog
Night after night
Day after day
He said he thought you would marry me
That he was surprised when it didn't last
He wanted the very best for me
And in his eyes you more than passed
I don't know if you still love me
I dream of you with the hope that you might
I wonder if you ever do the same
And if I'll see you in outerspace tonight
I guess that only time will tell
What is meant to be and what's not
But maybe he knew something we didn't
Or maybe we knew and we just forgot.
Copyright ©
stellar
... [
2005-05-22 20:59:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Time
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 26th May 2005 @ 05:48:29 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Very honest and well-expressed, in spite of the trying times. All the best, and keep writing!
Andrew |
|
|
Re: Time
(User Rating: 1 )
by rockergirl94 on
Wednesday, 24th August 2005 @ 02:46:45 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I really really like you're second line,
"Lost would imply I knew what I couldn't find"
and also you're last line,
"Or maybe we knew and we just forgot"
They are the hard-hitting lines that jam into my head, and will come to mind when I feel like I'm looking for something, or am feeling confused.
Something you might want to try, is being a bit less specific in your poems. It's fine the way you're doing it, but if you didn't say the names of people, or explained situations so clearly, even more people would be able to identify with your poems.
I think you have massive potential.
keep writing, keep hoping
- Julie |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
