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Stupid is stupid does
Contributed by
tangle
on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 12:30:30 AM in AEST
Topic:
ambiguous
|
I had a girl
l a long time ago
her face full of love
Her intentions filled with ambition of infinity
her quest of love unsung
She wanted not to be known only to be understood
farewell to all who miss her
dismiss all who wish for her
SHE IS an ocean breeze far from the sea
you can breathe all your lungs can take
She can see straight through you
is there hope
should one give up so easy
pursue, pursue, and pursue
she only wants what she can have at the time every thng else is just an extra commodity that has little use
she is what i want she is what that blurs my vision
Copyright ©
tangle
... [
2005-05-23 00:30:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Stupid is stupid does
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 01:04:16 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| i think the saying goes, "stupid is as stupid does". this needs cleaning up with punctuation and capitalization. i would say it needs more stanzas and to flow more smoothly word wise and to use stanzas, because seemed kind of sketchy with the topic jumps. i would say the good points are your style and story telling. |
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