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Bait
Contributed by
jaycee
on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 08:54:49 PM in AEST
Topic:
FriendshipPoetry
|
With the nets in the water
I would catch my prize
but that is no longer
the river basin dries
Dangling my bait
off the edge of the hook
my casts come up empty
intentions I mistook
The hunger it comes
for a catch tonite
but darkness seeps in
extinguish the bright
The night sky is clear
and the fish they do swim
falling over while looking
my knees I do skim
There's a whole world of life
seething under the sea
I cannot breathe water
it isn't for me
So hunger I must
while I gulp down more air
My bait goes unnoticed
I don't belong there
Copyright ©
jaycee
... [
2005-05-23 20:54:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Bait
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 08:58:59 PM AEST
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Maybe you do belong there. Maybe you are just using the wrong bait? This is an interesting poem. Actually, I love to fish and it caught my eye. As in everything, tastes do change occasionally.
Rita |
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Re: Bait
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 09:01:21 PM AEST
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I love the analogy you used here....and Rita is sooo right!!! Please reconsider...it may not be unnoticed as you think....
Hugs
Crazy |
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Re: Bait
(User Rating: 1 )
by blue_angel on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 09:43:47 PM AEST
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r u hungry? go eat sum of them chocolatey rich brownies n get back up on yer feet jaycee! dont give up, listen to these ppl things will get better, if i have to promise u i do rite now. i promise things will get better. u'll see. just give it time.
jennie* |
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Re: Bait
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 09:55:55 PM AEST
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I often feel like writing poetry is like fishing. I usually have one or two lines and when I start writing, the rest sorta reels in.
Aside from that, it's a cute poem. don't leave.
J. |
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Re: Bait
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 10:26:14 PM AEST
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Jaycee
Great poem and very well written , however i hope you dont leave as you are a talented writer and a friend!!!
Leia |
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