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Faded White
Contributed by
Essentially9
on
Wednesday, 25th May 2005 @ 08:51:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Faded White
The brightest color
Cannot compare to black.
Grays are now duller
With white to contrast.
The brightest shade
Now starts to fade
Into mourning
Of the forgotten coloring.
The whiteness
Is colorless with emptiness,
And I am happy because of it.
Copyright ©
Essentially9
... [
2005-05-25 20:51:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Faded White
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Wednesday, 25th May 2005 @ 09:26:03 PM AEST
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I like the way you used white as a fading color....and the ending from what i got of it is very good, but normal for you jen..lol...good job, as always
Clark |
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Re: Faded White
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Thursday, 26th May 2005 @ 01:10:56 AM AEST
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"The whiteness
Is colorless with emptiness,"
Wow... I loved that how white lacks colour
because it is empty. Damn good short poem
i really liked the first two lines of this write as
well it started off the poem really well I
thought.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Faded White
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Thursday, 26th May 2005 @ 01:24:20 AM AEST
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I really like the way you put that into words.
awsome job |
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Re: Faded White
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Thursday, 26th May 2005 @ 09:27:56 AM AEST
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| short and sweet poem.. i like it! I'm especially fond of " The brightest shade now starts to fade".. thanks for sharing it! |
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Re: Faded White
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jimmato on
Friday, 27th May 2005 @ 12:56:07 AM AEST
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| wanted one more syllable in 'with white to contrast", the rest was very smooth though and I could relate well to it. keep it up. |
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Re: Faded White
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Friday, 27th May 2005 @ 10:16:27 PM AEST
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This is quite unique Jen, I liked your contrast very much. And if that is what makes you happy then go for it!
Your poems are so smooth and soothing to read. I think you do a very good job, and I enjoy reading them very much.
Warm love
consue |
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Re: Faded White
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 08:43:33 AM AEST
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Good. Moving and expressive. Using color, again :) I love it.
--amanda-- |
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Re: Faded White
(User Rating: 1 )
by hardrocker15198916 on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 12:22:33 AM AEST
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i like it
its okay
you have written better though
--> Rae |
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Re: Faded White
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 04:08:15 PM AEST
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Love the contradiction of this write...a well thought out emotional piece about being empty of emotions...Nice!!
Scorp. |
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Re: Faded White
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Wednesday, 19th October 2005 @ 11:03:26 PM AEST
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I don't think I've ever properly noticed your flexible sense of rhyming, and it reminds me a whole lot of Jonh Lennon at times, lol. But anyways this poem's subject was handled pretty well, with that ending hammering in that enjoyable sense of emptiness the speaker feels. I can't help but see that ending as a positive one though, and I'm not sure why. The whiteness doesn't seem all that empty...
Another great write nevertheless |
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