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Blades Of Grass
Contributed by
poet70
on
Friday, 27th May 2005 @ 11:58:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
Haiku
|
Blades of grass do dance
The wind blows them back and forth
Makes the grass to dance
By: Tammi Pitman
Copyright ©
poet70
... [
2005-05-27 23:58:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Blades Of Grass
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fears on
Saturday, 28th May 2005 @ 12:23:36 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| I dont understand |
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Re: Blades Of Grass
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Saturday, 28th May 2005 @ 12:59:31 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
O.K. not bad, not good. You have the concept down. But on this one the 1st and 3rd sentences are too redundant. Maybe something like the one below. What you are doing is basically creating a mini movie with words.
Blades of grass dancing
Soft winds rustling through the trees
Leaves land softly below |
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Re: Blades Of Grass
(User Rating: 1 )
by bethers_is_my_baby on
Saturday, 28th May 2005 @ 07:45:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| i dont realy care for this:( but i never realy did like theses realy short poems, just not enough substance for me, sorry. |
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Re: Blades Of Grass
(User Rating: 1 )
by OnAngelswings on
Saturday, 28th May 2005 @ 08:22:05 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| If I understood this type poetry I am sure I would say its good....I will read up on it more...Shari :) |
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