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Paralysis
Contributed by
Jaycee
on
Tuesday, 31st May 2005 @ 11:31:24 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
My arms can't move
and my legs they feel thick
I'm frozen in time
mortared like a brick
The future is cloudy
fear strangles my heart
the answers have vanished
Oh, to be smart
But my heart starts to pound
rapidly gulping in air
life's spinning out of control
I do not know where
All of this will end up
the fear of the unknown
confidence shattered like glass
collapse with a groan
Rolled into a ball
the fetal position
my mind short circuits
can't make a decision
Reaching for the bottle
of little white pills
can't make it alone
life gives me the chills
Someone take my hand
and show me the way
Because I'm hopelessly lost
and I need help today
Copyright ©
Jaycee
... [
2005-05-31 11:31:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Paralysis
(User Rating: 1 )
by suicidal_imbecile on
Tuesday, 31st May 2005 @ 11:43:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Nice flow, nice job... |
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Re: Paralysis
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 31st May 2005 @ 12:18:25 PM AEST
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| I think you meant "show me the way" in the last stanza. It's an excellent poem and you have great rhyming skills. The tone also speaks of one frozen by what's in one's head. Good job! J. |
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Re: Paralysis
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Tuesday, 31st May 2005 @ 06:02:56 PM AEST
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Excellent write, Jaycee....One can feel the fear of the situation...the apparent hopelessness of it all... But don't give up yet!!
Help is on the way!!
The Nut |
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Re: Paralysis
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 31st May 2005 @ 08:14:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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unless I missed something,
you did write.."show me the way"
in the last stanza..
my heart bleeds for you my friend..
peace and love to you..
B |
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Re: Paralysis
(User Rating: 1 )
by blue_angel on
Wednesday, 1st June 2005 @ 07:51:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
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man_on_high, u didnt miss it... it does say "show me the way" in the last stanza lol...
dont werry JC help cums in all diffrent forms... let it cum to you the way it is meant to. be patient my friend and life will show you the way. good luck to you, much hope,
jennie* |
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