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The Quiet Place
Contributed by
ForeverAlone
on
Friday, 3rd June 2005 @ 08:34:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
The Quiet Place
My favorite place, to run and hide
Where intricate chains, no longer bind
Where the fairy tales come to life
And unlike reality, here beauty never dies
My escape from the crumbling brick walls
Where I evade the ominous shadowed halls
Where rose buds bloom yet never fall
And in this quiet place, here I leave it all
My own little world, where I am alone
Where the sky is how I want it to be shown
Where bridges never burn, and I feel at home
And unlike reality, here everything is my own
My imagination, where my reality soon fades
Where my own spot is between the nights and days
Where the grass can be rainbows, or the deepest greys
And in my quiet place, here my mind always seems to stray
. . .
I drift into myself as I start to doze
Just hear the serenade, as my orcastra compose
My mind is now open but my eyes are now closed.
Copyright ©
ForeverAlone
... [
2005-06-03 20:34:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Quiet Place
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 3rd June 2005 @ 09:46:52 PM AEST
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| =] excellent, can i come to the quiet place too? ::invades your mind:: your ending is good, but i think that it is just too distant from the rest of the piece to really be a good ending for this one. |
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Re: The Quiet Place
(User Rating: 1 )
by Zeldianus on
Friday, 3rd June 2005 @ 10:13:11 PM AEST
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OMG!! In my opinion this is your best write ever!! I loved this one more than any others!!! Spectacular!
Hugs and Praise,
Seth |
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Re: The Quiet Place
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Saturday, 4th June 2005 @ 03:38:58 AM AEST
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Yes we all like our little quiet place .
good write. |
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Re: The Quiet Place
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 4th June 2005 @ 12:40:54 PM AEST
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Well written piece of storytelling here...Nice job. I would have to agree about the last 3 lines though. Would've been better without. I do however think the last bit could be part of another great write...Keep it up.
Scorp. |
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Re: The Quiet Place
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Sunday, 5th June 2005 @ 10:16:26 PM AEST
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o this is one of your best!!!! absolutely AMAZING clark , i am so speechless as I write this comment in awe
what an original piece and I do agree, your imagination my friend is one of beauty and brilliant thoughts, which comes out in your writing.
u hav a astounding mind! o keep it up! i love this LOVE it |
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Re: The Quiet Place
(User Rating: 1 )
by heartbroken4ever on
Wednesday, 8th June 2005 @ 07:46:13 PM AEST
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your not alone there clark I'm with you if only I could be there now instead of here so brokenhearted
Love you my angel
Amber
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Re: The Quiet Place
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Friday, 10th June 2005 @ 09:41:58 AM AEST
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wonderful piece clark, I agree with essentially9 though the ending does seem a little awkward for the poem its a great ending though, overall wonderfull job!! Keep it up.
--amanda-- |
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Re: The Quiet Place
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Friday, 2nd September 2005 @ 12:13:48 PM AEST
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| Firstly this is very well written, I should like to use this as my own quiet place theme poem be cause yours is much better. (As far as structure I think your poem's last stanza should have 4 lines. It ended rather abruptly and I was left wanting to hear more. In my honest view it was incomplete in structure but perfect in meaning) |
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