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Rain
Contributed by
thisismesodeal
on
Saturday, 4th June 2005 @ 12:30:54 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Lightning strikes.
Rain falls.
Thunder sounds.
A child calls.
Only for a moment.
The sky was lit.
Another crash.
Something hit.
The ground trembles.
The walls shake.
Another crash.
Another quake.
The lights dim.
Powers out.
Everything dark.
A small shout.
All is hidden.
Nothing visible.
The lights wont work.
Its miserable.
Powers back.
All is fine.
A boys whimper.
A dogs wine.
Lightning strikes.
Rain falls.
Thunder sounds.
A child calls.
Copyright ©
thisismesodeal
... [
2005-06-04 12:30:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by bttrflynajar on
Saturday, 4th June 2005 @ 01:27:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This was so enjoyable to read. the flow is so great. it rolls right off the tongue. good job! keep it up! |
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Re: Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 4th June 2005 @ 02:07:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Well done!! The flow was on point, and great use of wordplay....
Scorp. |
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Re: Rain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Monday, 22nd August 2005 @ 06:53:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is a great poem.
"Do not let the noise distract you from my voice
Do not give in to the scary choice
Child I love you from my very heart
And I will protect you from the dark"
Your poem has a simple but deep hearted theme.
The quote is from a song I wrote called "Lullaby"
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