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In that or of the leaving
Contributed by
classicfailedhero
on
Tuesday, 7th June 2005 @ 02:06:27 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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'Self loahing in the depths of cliche' Read the scrabbled writings of the romantiks hovel. Slithers of negros in the forest dance Hands held high past the dwellings.
Sparingly thick walls block me in, But hey, I was raised as a good boy. Always perverted, scribbles cover its walls. Yeah i'll pay that.
Fluroescant shadows relate to cracks in skin. Pressed and folded give way to flayed and ravaged, My floors seem to swallow light, I sleep with this only constant, its a pillow, The floor helps my back and eyes.
The bed is dead, letting drafts through its sparse wires, 'We were' is what it whispers through. As i lie here I realise i've been evaded, Though as if I was a threat, a danger. My anchor has been unwillingly removed,
Progression is all that is left;
That or a stalemate. Ice greases the wheels of change. I grind through this masquarade, This puppet show in a hovel, This clich'e;
We cover knees so we float on clouds.
Copyright ©
classicfailedhero
... [
2005-06-07 02:06:27] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: In that or of the leaving
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jimmato on
Tuesday, 7th June 2005 @ 05:15:11 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This was a self struggle to get through. lol.
Each line if taken out of context is perfectly readable and vivid, but when you put them all together it just forms a rambling mesh that grabs at you to trip you up.
All over the place, but had potential |
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Re: In that or of the leaving
(User Rating: 1 ) by SensitiveSoAbused on
Wednesday, 28th December 2005 @ 07:51:30 PM AEST (User
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fvck i dont knwo what that guy was talking abotu. YOu know, I don't read poems. I never have an interest to, because I am such a critic that I hardly ever like them.
Congratulations, ClassicFailedHero. You are the fourth poet I've ever read whos work I enjoyed.
This was a wonderful piece.
Fluroescant shadows relate to cracks in skin.
Pressed and folded give way to flayed and ravaged,
My floors seem to swallow light,
I sleep with this only constant, its a pillow,
The floor helps my back and eyes.
Lovely images all throughout the poem, and slanted concepts like the last line of this brilliant stanza. Reminds me of my own poems. Perhaps its why I like it....
I probably wont read anymore of my own accord, I even forget to read my lover's poems. If you have anymore you treasure, I'd love to read them, so PM me the url.
You know, I read this on a whim. It was marked as 'least read poem in self-struggling.'
what a pity for those who havent read it.
You may be interested in my latest, "...Beautiful Silver..."
http://www.your-poetry.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=112185
ta ta... |
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