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Typical Day
Contributed by
cocacola1331
on
Saturday, 11th June 2005 @ 03:02:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Never deserved all this hurt
Sun rising, red ball appearing over the hills
Tears leaking
People awakening
Soul in agony
The start of a new day
Blade shining
Everybody busily working
Decisions being made
Noone caring, noone realizing
Skin breaking
People passing by
Blood flowing, blood escaping
All caught up in their own realms
Breaths harder to find
No after thoughts, no curiosities
Mind weakening
Sky darkening, day ending
Gone
Copyright ©
cocacola1331
... [
2005-06-11 15:02:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Typical Day
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 11th June 2005 @ 03:16:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I like this poem, I liked how you portrated the sun as a red bal rising over the sun. I have came to think that what this poem means is that. You never deserved your pain, though your tears you still cry, peope are waking up in terrible agony and terrible pain though they still seem to go on with life, they still seem to go on with the day, no one, no body ever realizes that people are thinking about the blade, no one cares, that skin is breaking as all people do is pass it by, people are bleeding, it is harder to breathe because the breathes do not come, there is no thoughts not curiosities, just death. That is what I believe as it to say. SLipSiX. Wow I need to save that. Please comment on my work to, the-brokn-rose. |
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Re: Typical Day
(User Rating: 1 )
by pollypocket on
Saturday, 11th June 2005 @ 07:05:16 PM AEST
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Wow, the way you just represent it as a typical day is amazing. Cause it's true, we all feel it at one point in time or another, some of us more than others. As I read it I see so much pain, yet the simplicity is unbelievable. Great portrayal, you know, it's difficult to convey that image unless you've experienced it. : /
p.s. Hit me back |
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