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Subliminal Verses
Contributed by
Essentially9
on
Saturday, 11th June 2005 @ 08:17:03 PM in AEST
Topic:
poets
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Subliminal Verses
The promiscuous poem bleeds
The author's disease.
Subliminal verses are unread
With meaningless words said.
I wonder why you want
What isn't yours to begin with.
You have no reason to flaunt
Your distasteful sin.
You live on the street corner
Until you're finally wanted.
You used to be a former
Love until discarded.
No one wants your disease
So the poem bleeds
With every word said
That goes unread.
Copyright ©
Essentially9
... [
2005-06-11 20:17:03]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Subliminal Verses
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Saturday, 11th June 2005 @ 08:26:31 PM AEST
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an interesting write..
though the third stanza left me a little flat-
But I enjoyed it just the same.
B |
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Re: Subliminal Verses
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Saturday, 11th June 2005 @ 11:01:11 PM AEST
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greatness getting overlooked again Jen, Awesome work, as always
~Clark |
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Re: Subliminal Verses
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Saturday, 11th June 2005 @ 11:43:28 PM AEST
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Interesting poem althuogh I find it kinda
confusing. It seems as if you are comparing
poetry to a whore... correct me if I am wrong,
but if I am right then that is an awesome idea.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Subliminal Verses
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Sunday, 12th June 2005 @ 05:34:26 AM AEST
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I agree with Joel on the 3rd stanza. Is it about prostitution? I didn’t think it fitted the poem. But I could be just wrong. God wouldn't that be weird if I just started blabbing about something I didn't understand?
Opps sorry I think I already started. bugger.
Jane |
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Re: Subliminal Verses
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Tuesday, 14th June 2005 @ 08:39:34 PM AEST
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Pretty cool write. I love using words in this kind of way. Pretty darn cool!
Carol |
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Re: Subliminal Verses
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 09:04:13 AM AEST
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Very interesting and creative! I loved it.
"Subliminal verses are unread
With meaningless words said."
Holds such powerful meaning and the the last stanza is phenominal.
Wonderful write!
--amanda--
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Re: Subliminal Verses
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 07:02:32 PM AEST
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Well I found this poem to be fascinating, and very abstract, which is why it intrigues me so much. I read it about 5x's. What comes to me is that poems (perhaps yours) are sometimes prostituted, screwed over, because they are misunderstood and the wrong message received. The subliminal versus and meaningless words...the real meaning and integrity sold out of its intent?
Sorry, I'm rambling. Fascinating write
Will |
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Re: Subliminal Verses
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 17th June 2005 @ 05:00:16 PM AEST
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Indeed, this is a very expressive piece. Eloquent and powerful use of word and metaphor. Well done, I say, well done.
Andrew |
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Re: Subliminal Verses
(User Rating: 1 )
by edwynne on
Wednesday, 28th September 2005 @ 10:41:37 AM AEST
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a beautiful write... I think our style is quite similar...although your blatently better haha
anyway...I like the way the poem comes back on itself...
ed |
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Re: Subliminal Verses
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 4th October 2005 @ 02:14:37 AM AEST
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LOL This is great. Sounds like a cutting 'slam' poem: )
That first line demands the readers attention, and the rest of the poem lives up to it's full potential. Very emotive and well worded.
Again, those last two lines!
Scorp. |
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