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I miss her
Contributed by
Jaycee
on
Sunday, 12th June 2005 @ 09:23:24 AM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
The petals, they wither
The stamen, it cries
The bud, it is lifeless
The flower, it dies
The jungle is silent
The birds do not caw
The predators are missing
This is such a flaw
The plains are so barren
The harvest long gone
The plows are neglected
Not even a raven to yawn
The city is barren
cold glass, inert steel
Entropy dominates
There's no one to feel
The oceans have dried
and the fish are no more
Perpetual darkness
there're no birds to soar
When opportunity arises
but we miss on that meeting
My blood will turn blue
and my heart will stop beating
Copyright ©
Jaycee
... [
2005-06-12 09:23:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I miss her
(User Rating: 1 )
by New_York_Chick on
Sunday, 12th June 2005 @ 09:52:07 AM AEST
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so sad, but beautifully written
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Re: I miss her
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sinned on
Sunday, 12th June 2005 @ 10:12:39 AM AEST
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Jaycee
Interesting perspective on how you wrote this.
Without love there is no life.
Sinned |
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Re: I miss her
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 12th June 2005 @ 01:16:49 PM AEST
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| like the message here and the punchy rhyme scheme. excellent write. |
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Re: I miss her
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 12th June 2005 @ 01:43:21 PM AEST
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WELL DONE!!! You express sorrow like no other...wow. I love it.
Scorp. |
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Re: I miss her
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 12th June 2005 @ 06:58:18 PM AEST
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Jaycee
I missed you , I missed you ,I missed you.
I sent some heartfelt emails I know you now received last night. I am starting to realize something and it is scary to me. You are very important to me and the ocean is big but fish swim they can!
Leia |
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Re: I miss her
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Sunday, 12th June 2005 @ 07:41:06 PM AEST
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Lovely write, Jaycee....
Jenni |
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Re: I miss her
(User Rating: 1 )
by sprinter27 on
Sunday, 12th June 2005 @ 08:45:05 PM AEST
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good write, jaycee. but it's sad... and i'm not so sure i like the meaning of the last stanza. that one scares me a little. and we all miss people, jaycee. i hope you know that. keep up the good work! and i wish the best of luck to you!!!
~sprints |
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Re: I miss her
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Sunday, 12th June 2005 @ 09:32:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
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beautiful saddness..
great imagery and finesse..
M.O.H. |
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Re: I miss her
(User Rating: 1 )
by blue_angel on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 09:55:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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oh wow that is such a great poem. u ever notice how such sorrow can bring us to write such amazing poems? this truely is a piece of brilliance. great write, keep it up
jennie* |
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