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my end of pain
Contributed by
unluckicharmz
on
Tuesday, 14th June 2005 @ 10:43:06 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
i scream
i cry
i pray you die
nothing works
writing? no
punching s h i t? nope, that dont work either
my last resort lies in my nightstand
' no dont resort to that! i dont want another scar'
my brain keeps telling me
but my lifeless body reaches into the drawer
overwhelmed in my feelings
i pull it across my skin
ahhh, the relief it puts me in
ooops! need a washcloth! blood is getting everywhere
i put it back in my nightstand
the pain is gone
damn, it feels great
later ill realize what ive done
the number one thing i hate
but hell, it dont matter now
im in relief from my misery
and it feels right
even if its only for tonight
Copyright ©
unluckicharmz
... [
2005-06-14 22:43:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: my end of pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by purplestary on
Tuesday, 14th June 2005 @ 11:06:21 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| sad write but written well. you expressed this amazingly. |
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Re: my end of pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Tuesday, 14th June 2005 @ 11:38:02 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is good. i can see that in your style you have dramatic lines, very nice. i dont see much of that, so its very refreshing. i liked your rhymes in here also. i cant say that i care for all of the cussing in this, because i think that most things can be said other ways. but this would be better flow wise with stanzas. your ending was excellent. i loved the beginning most in this though because it sounds song like in the beginning. |
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Re: my end of pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by suicidal_imbecile on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 11:34:49 AM AEST
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a Message)
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the last line cuts through everything. Even if its only for tonight. the best sleep is when you can crawl into bed, arm agaist you and sleep with no worries on your tear stained pillow. you wake up and start all over again. pain refills, torturing your mind... ahh
nice write
kate |
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