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Cut and Carve
Contributed by
freckle
on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 07:20:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
self-harmpoetry
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Cut and Carve
The cuts you make
are deep
I feel your fury
and the need
to
dig
deep
Searching
for
soul
You know
it's
there
But
why
so
deep
You cut
and carve
seeking
Red blood
flows
You
watch,
wondering,
If
they
see
it
now
If
they
finally
see
The
flowing
blood
Tears...
of a weeping soul.
Carol
Copyright ©
freckle
... [
2005-06-15 19:20:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Cut and Carve
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 09:37:30 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| i think this would make a good song. something i noticed in this is that it could flow better, especially at the end. it definantly stood out because it just seemed completely different but using the flowing blood are tears of a weeping soul to make it read better. heres an idea for you, you could always try to write a poem in the shape of a tear drop =] |
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Re: Cut and Carve
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 12:11:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
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You write with such simplicity and yet true conviction love your style . . .
Ben |
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Re: Cut and Carve
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 10:43:22 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow im supprised to see a dark poem from you Carolita. And i must say i enjoyed this. It was writen.
Hope to see more like this soon C.
Jane xoxox |
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Re: Cut and Carve
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 06:05:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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So heartfelt Carol---excellent expression. I hope this isn't about you...I hope everything's okay. Nice job.
Scorp. |
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Re: Cut and Carve
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 09:35:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I agree with DorianC.
simplicity is best-
I loved it as well.
B |
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Re: Cut and Carve
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Saturday, 18th June 2005 @ 03:51:18 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| wow, this is AMAZING, well done |
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