|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Exciting Humbleness
Contributed by
Rikki
on
Saturday, 18th June 2005 @ 01:26:42 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Once upon a time, a lamb was being born,
Frequent spells of foolishness,
Wicked convulsions, slight vision.
Darkness suddenly surrounds.
Falling back to where I'm not supposed to be.
The lamb of God wishes to bite me.
There is no mercy for us
Non-believers,
Non-deserving,
Non-loving,
Non-existing.
Falling back to where I'm not.
The surface is always tricky.
Non-smiling.
Wishing for the death of the person
I once was.
Wishing for the birth of some person
I choose to be.
Believer, deserving, loving, existing,
And constantly
Smiling.
Copyright ©
Rikki
... [
2005-06-18 01:26:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Exciting Humbleness
(User Rating: 1 )
by mindset on
Sunday, 19th June 2005 @ 03:22:40 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| u wright too much text book try writing whats inside |
|
|
Re: Exciting Humbleness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Astralbermudian on
Monday, 23rd January 2006 @ 06:26:04 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| heya, it's good but what the person above me said is true, your writing style is too "common" there isnt any emotions being delivered, continue writing and then maybe you'll will master the art of delivery. |
|
|
Re: Exciting Humbleness
(User Rating: 1 )
by europeanprincess on
Wednesday, 1st February 2006 @ 10:05:02 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| You are a good writer. Good word format. I do like the imagery of how you see life and how it is lived. At least that is what I am getting from it. i too agree that you should put more of your feelings into it. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Site Help
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
