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In Love
Contributed by
Essentially9
on
Thursday, 23rd June 2005 @ 08:16:39 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
In Love
Blood trickles down
Freshly painted lips
That reddens a frown
Touched by wine sips.
Her lips are more blackened
Than any other color visible,
And red only deadens
The death of the inevitable.
Such is the way
Of a loveless
Metallic decay
From bliss.
She is no Juliet,
Because there wasn't a Romeo.
She was in love with the idea of it,
And she gave a rendition of woe
To her lover
That loved another.
Copyright ©
Essentially9
... [
2005-06-23 20:16:39]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: In Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Thursday, 23rd June 2005 @ 09:17:19 PM AEST
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My favorite of yours now Jen, i really think this is your best now, i really love this piece, amazing in every part of the concept, awesome lil sis
~Clark |
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Re: In Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Thursday, 23rd June 2005 @ 09:56:19 PM AEST
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You never lose it, as a women, you know
where love is, and of course, where it isn't,
magnificent as always . . .
Ben |
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Re: In Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Friday, 24th June 2005 @ 12:33:05 AM AEST
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wow Jen this is great i am impress.
awsome write .This has got to be my favorite one of yours.
hugs |
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Re: In Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Friday, 24th June 2005 @ 07:43:43 PM AEST
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so melancholy Jen..
2nd stanza was outstanding..
I hope you come to find much happiness
my friend..
in love and all.
B |
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Re: In Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Friday, 24th June 2005 @ 07:47:44 PM AEST
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Well done Jen...Your expression in this write was fantastic. Your emotions came across loud and clear, and the delivery was rather unique. The wording you chose painted a vivid picture of sadness and longing...A touch of regret too in my opinion...Great job.
Scorp. |
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Re: In Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Tuesday, 28th June 2005 @ 10:26:47 PM AEST
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I was thinking you had said you didn't like love poems before. Perhaps my memory fails. What ever, I like the poem, even if it is a love poem. :) I really like the stanza that refers to Juliet....She was in love with the idea of it..... That line reminds me of the poem I wrote called Mourning the Dream.
Well done Jennifer
Will |
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Re: In Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 08:27:12 AM AEST
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So often you seem to draw from that dark bitter part of yourself and there evolves such feeling into your writes.
But I do especially like when you let hope creep into your writes, not that that has happened here, but I'll keep my fingers crossed for future writes...;) |
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Re: In Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 11:11:34 PM AEST
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Sorry I haven't been around lately to comment, gosh I have to get going! Anyway, this was beautiful (you did colors I see :) ) this really was a wonderful piece though the description was beautiful. I especially like the first stanza it sounds beautiful but at the same time deadly, I also like the last stanza just because its the best feeling-describing stanza in this piece. This was a terrific write, I can't wait to read the others I've missed.
.amanda. |
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Re: In Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie-Kie on
Monday, 19th September 2005 @ 07:18:59 PM AEST
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Wow... this poem's so sad and yet... true... people who don't have their love returned are like dead shells... and sometimes... it ends up being their end... *huggles* I do hope this isn't about you
Love ya,
~Kiela~ |
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Re: In Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Tuesday, 18th October 2005 @ 01:08:55 PM AEST
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| This is good. It is sort of a dark betrayal of sorts. |
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Re: In Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Elizabeth_Dandy on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 10:37:55 PM AEST
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Tragically beautiful. The imagery perceived.
Perhaps the Lover goes so a kind of a "Dark Night of the Soul" to go beneath deeply beneath the realm of the emotions accepting the pain to come out as victor in Transcendence.
Kusos!
Elizabeth |
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