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Edge
Contributed by
sprinter27
on
Saturday, 25th June 2005 @ 09:34:06 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
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Im on the edge Standing on the ledge Im ready to jump I am pumped This fall of 100 feet Shall and will defeat Me and shall put an end To me, for I dont defend Im taking the leap Im falling deep This isnt a dream There isnt a gentle stream In sight, just rock and hardness And Im falling without a harness Some call it free-falling I call it death-leaping I look up at the ledge Im slipping away from the edge
Copyright ©
sprinter27
... [
2005-06-25 21:34:06] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Edge
(User Rating: 1 ) by xXcrossedXx on
Monday, 27th June 2005 @ 06:20:52 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I think the rhyming seemed a bit forced in some places and I think you could have come up with a better ending but that could just be my bad mood talking. This was a good poem in short story form with lots of description.
Keep it up,
amanda |
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Re: Edge
(User Rating: 1 ) by xXcrossedXx on
Monday, 27th June 2005 @ 06:20:52 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I think the rhyming seemed a bit forced in some places and I think you could have come up with a better ending but that could just be my bad mood talking. This was a good poem in short story form with lots of description.
Keep it up,
amanda |
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