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dream REALITY check
Contributed by
arilyn
on
Wednesday, 8th January 2003 @ 12:20:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
When he smiles,
when he beams,
in the forest of my dreams.
when all floats in heavenly streams,
the world goes blank, or thats how it seems.
was he there to have, to hold?
does your heart feel stone cold?
you never knew it had been sold...
you were too busy acting bold.
when you cry,
when you scream,
you realize it was all a dream.
Copyright ©
arilyn
... [
2003-01-08 12:20:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: dream REALITY check
(User Rating: 1 )
by Olddarkme on
Wednesday, 8th January 2003 @ 07:10:46 PM AEST
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| I like this. It looks like overrhyming on first glance but it actually flows nicely once it's read because each rhyming pattern seems to end in emotional emptiness. The poem is also short and sweet and I think it would have suffered a little bit if it was longer. |
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Re: dream REALITY check
(User Rating: 1 )
by princesspurty on
Sunday, 19th January 2003 @ 12:16:27 PM AEST
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| this is beautiful! |
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