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Not Even

Contributed by northernlights on Friday, 16th March 2012 @ 02:12:49 PM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems



For I am alone.
Surrounded by solitude, noticing the quietude,
Not even contained within walls, not without those that I know,
But neither with them, in mind, nor body nor soul. At best with
a mask, to pretend normality, to enable functionality, and I carry
a cloak of heaviness by day and emptiness by night, and as a well
programmed robot I get through the days asking, and succumb to the
nights calling for exhaustion leaves me no choice.

I am needed but never feel the warmth of being wanted.
I chose to walk the path I walk and yet have no real choice for I am
Who I am.
Not that I am never the jester and not that I am never the clown
For I play the part.
And I bleed the picture!
And sit with my friend, struggle in the front row,
Watching,

With the same childlike curiosity that brought the rain to my pillow,
And all was secure in the softness of blanket and in the safeness of
Darkness, for I was in my home.
Now home is elusive for my security is gone and I am alone
Surrounded by solitude noticing the quietude
Not even




Copyright © northernlights ... [ 2012-03-16 14:12:49]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Not Even (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Friday, 16th March 2012 @ 04:25:48 PM AEST
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Great writing friend.
I'm alone a lot but I have my dogs.
Blessings, inner peace,
emy


Re: Not Even (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 16th March 2012 @ 11:11:15 PM AEST
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You are an awesome poet...first I shall say that. *****, this just blew me away.

Then, well, I've read it three times now and was actually numbed from power this beauty holds. I didn't quite know what to say. I really did sit here stunned...kept thinking, crap, gotta respond to this.

So, now I've had some time and knowing that we, as writers, as poets, sometimes write from fiction, even though life experiences may drive that fiction. Then...we write what is real to us now, recently or in the past. I hope if this is from reality it gets better soon because it really made me want to cry and then give you a freaking huge hug.

My cousin has a saying, "I'm happiest when I'm depressed". Someday I want to write a poem based on that. Did you already do that?

Take care,

Tim


Re: Not Even (User Rating: 1 )
by alicewhite on Saturday, 17th March 2012 @ 01:36:09 PM AEST
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you are absolutely spot on, but you are not alone thats how we all feel but that feeling is false, we are more connected than most of us realise , i beg you read up about cosmic consciousness by carl jung in google and i really know that you will get it. hi by the way from someone who is with you all the way,


Re: Not Even (User Rating: 1 )
by purplestary on Saturday, 17th March 2012 @ 08:46:49 PM AEST
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omg how amazing this was. i can't even begin to tell you..i totally get it..and how painful it is to "be needed, yet never wanted." omg..i love this poem. thank you for sharing your soul. it is such a sad write, yet so amazing..i wish i did not relate. but like many, i definitely do.


Re: Not Even (User Rating: 1 )
by CARAAAAA on Tuesday, 20th March 2012 @ 12:25:16 AM AEST
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i really like this line And sit with my friend, ‘struggle’ in the front row"


Re: Not Even (User Rating: 1 )
by spud on Wednesday, 28th March 2012 @ 09:57:57 AM AEST
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Hi Anna,
This is quite definitely one of the best that
you have ever put together and would not
look out of place among the works of the
heavyweights of modern poetry. Soulful,
mournful, and painful, in its recognition of
the seclusion of loneliness. I do hope that
this is not autotype in relation to your
goodself(?)

Tommy
X


Re: Not Even (User Rating: 1 )
by thehotshotpoet on Sunday, 8th April 2012 @ 09:38:52 AM AEST
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thank you for sharing & please always remember we are only who we are
the hot shot poet




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