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Empty Hallway
Contributed by
justjonesy
on
Wednesday, 1st December 2004 @ 05:31:45 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
I walk this empty hallway with my shoes untied followed by the shadow of things I should have tried
As you pass your presence hits me I fall over silent words Did you notice me?
Take this heart because it was free how do I stop you? how do I catch thee?
Copyright ©
justjonesy
... [
2004-12-01 17:31:45] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Empty Hallway
(User Rating: 1 ) by zenmind on
Wednesday, 1st December 2004 @ 06:02:19 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I really liked this one. If this is not one of your best then you should be proud. I especially liked these lines:
I walk this empty hallway
with my shoes untied
followed by the shadow
of things I should have tried
The whole image is awesome. It produces several distinct feelings. First, walking in an empty hallway with shoes untied. Defintiely feels like you are alone and stumbling, not in control. And Second part relates to all of the regrets we have of never acting when you felt like you should have. That is my life story.
Be True,
zenmind |
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Re: Empty Hallway
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 1st December 2004 @ 06:31:54 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow so much feelings in such a short poem,This is a good poem I liked it very much, and some parts a I could relate thank you for sharing
Great Write !!!!!! |
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