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Fake Body Parts
Contributed by
beniam
on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 01:43:16 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Shes got a man made face
Yet the truth, you can trace
Her soul is covered with plastic
With parts put together with mastic
A glimpse will leave you breathless
Your thoughts become endless
Shes stunning from afar
Teeth shine like the stars
Reflection, off into your direction
Demanding words from you to mention
Vaingloriesis her souls title!
Hope; to the mind belongs this battle
Infatuation taints the eyes,
For it witnessing all the lies,
And who can know the heart?
Given its treacherous from the start.
As honey comb are her lips,
In its smoothness you forget your wits,
Her palate, smoother than olive oil
Makes the poor mind toil
Of anyway not to taste
This splendor made of waste
Copyright ©
beniam
... [
2005-02-22 01:43:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fake Body Parts
(User Rating: 1 )
by heartquake on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 01:49:39 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| insane poem, seriously, definently one of my favorites on here... great use of words, i'm a sucker for big words lol.. what can i say |
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Re: Fake Body Parts
(User Rating: 1 )
by mypetmeatball on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 01:52:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I enjoyed this on many different levels.
I am very, very critical of the ABAB rhyme scheme, but I believe you actually pulled it off.
Good work, polish it off and you have yourself a poem that can you should deservingly put in your lifetime portfolio
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Re: Fake Body Parts
(User Rating: 1 )
by TheSchroedmeister on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 02:04:50 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Definately worth a comment.
A great piece |
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Re: Fake Body Parts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 03:35:30 AM AEST
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Its actually in AABB, meatball.
Mildly interesting. I'll give it a 3. |
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Re: Fake Body Parts
(User Rating: 1 )
by mypetmeatball on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 03:42:08 AM AEST
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:embarrassed:
I always screw up the "AABB" "ABAB" rhyme schemes |
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Re: Fake Body Parts
(User Rating: 1 )
by jace on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 02:30:17 PM AEST
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Great benni,
The title is a little shocking though, but I remember reading it and the pattern it holds |
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Re: Fake Body Parts
(User Rating: 1 )
by sheri on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 05:23:03 PM AEST
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| I actually think I have seen a few of these "fake body parts" girls. Actually,one too many in the last six months. You did a great job in this poem portraying them. |
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