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Please

Contributed by Jane_Doe on Friday, 26th August 2005 @ 03:49:22 AM in AEST
Topic: obsession



Whisper to me, lovely one
I can see the words form on your tongue
I'll wait for them to finally come
Please whisper to me, lovely one

Take my hand, dear brightest star
Your skin so close, yet still too far
I'll watch as you deny who you are
Please take my hand, dear brightest star

Smile at me, sweet work of art
Glorious emotions to quicken my heart
Wishing it was for me from the start
Please smile at me, sweet work of art

Look at me, darling love's mistake
Leave the heart, but remove the stake
I'm asking only for an alleviated ache
Please... look at me, darling love's mistake






Copyright © Jane_Doe ... [ 2005-08-26 03:49:22]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Please (User Rating: 1 )
by tiggytom on Friday, 26th August 2005 @ 03:58:55 AM AEST
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Beautiful, the pain we go through eh.
thanks


Re: Please (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Friday, 26th August 2005 @ 04:09:44 AM AEST
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Very talented write.
huggs,
emy


Re: Please (User Rating: 1 )
by valichka on Friday, 26th August 2005 @ 04:45:34 AM AEST
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Very beautiful, I love the words you use in here. I can't even explaine how beautiful it is :)


Re: Please (User Rating: 1 )
by Davinah on Friday, 26th August 2005 @ 05:01:16 AM AEST
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yep, I can really relate to this one...

Very beautiful


Re: Please (User Rating: 1 )
by BloodyTears5 on Friday, 26th August 2005 @ 05:08:47 AM AEST
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well done..keep up the good work..

~Sarah


Re: Please (User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on Friday, 26th August 2005 @ 10:17:54 AM AEST
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Great poem. Other thoughts come to mind but I will keep them hidden.


Re: Please (User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on Friday, 26th August 2005 @ 01:20:55 PM AEST
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Love the way you composed this write...The flow is steady, and you have a good rhyme scheme...but mainly I like the way you expressed your emotions, especially in the last stanza. Good job!

Scorp.




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