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Glitter in the Rubble
Contributed by
MoonlitAngel
on
Thursday, 5th October 2017 @ 02:17:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
SecretLove
|
A head full of questions, always
I wonder why I see your face
Sink into you most every night
Surrender `til I`m set alight
Oh fantasy, you call on me
As often as catastrophe
Willfully connecting pieces
Backtracking as doubt increases
Just wishing to see what I want
While passing off so nonchalant
Whispers of "there`s more than one way"
Drowned by deafening "won`t you stay"
Just searching for that something more
Than all that`s ever come before
Who am I to ascend struggle?
Chasing glitter in the rubble
Copyright ©
MoonlitAngel
... [
2017-10-05 14:17:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Glitter in the Rubble
(User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on
Thursday, 5th October 2017 @ 02:32:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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"Oh fantasy, you call on me
As often as catastrophe"
I really liked these lines both for their abrupt and unexpected turn, and also for the way they sound. I think that those two mixed together are what make a line or pair really "hit".
The last pair, I almost want to say a comma after ascend would be a good idea, because it would imply a reflection speaking to the struggle one goes through, and the desire to overcome it, and that/'/s certainly a relatable train of thought, while not having one seems to imply to ascend struggle in the sense of finding a newer and more difficult challenge, when the present one is already difficult to bear.
And chasing glitter in rubble? Just the thought is touching for its futility and again relatability by virtue of analogy and metaphor. How too often we try finding something great in relationships and our life sticking in place practically derelict, abandoned of all future potential and ultimately fruitless- but we desperately want something. Perhaps that/'/s the curse of a creative soul? |
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Re: Glitter in the Rubble
(User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on
Thursday, 5th October 2017 @ 10:31:46 PM AEST
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A message of empowerment hidden inside a lament! JUST SEARCHING FOR THAT SOMETHING MORE THAN ALL THATS EVER COME BEFORE..A testimony to our undeniable belief in things greater than ourselves.
Chasing glitter in the rubble rings of Cinderella!
The timing and rhythm of your write is like sitting in a rocking chair..a sheer delight.
softerware |
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