|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
Dark Star
Contributed by
Rakerman1999
on
Tuesday, 12th March 2019 @ 11:22:54 AM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
Dark star, you are the night
Destroyer of all hope and light
The messenger of deep despair
A taste of thick and stagnant air
Beelzebubs unholy bride
Who wildly laughs when tears are cried
And picks and pulls at broken hearts
Til every dream of love departs
Dark star, oh thief of breath
From honeyed lips the kiss of death
A devils tongue that spits the lies
That wound the soul and dim the eyes
With reapers call from velvet voice
A sirens song that clouds the choice
To fight and die, or run away
And live to love another day
Dark star, a heart of stone
That strips the flesh and grinds the bone
To nothing more than lifeless dust
You sap the faith and kill the trust
So twinkle, twinkle where you are
Oh darkened, cold and evil star
And maybe one night they will see
The side of you, you show to me
L. Carling
Copyright ©
Rakerman1999
... [
2019-03-12 11:22:54] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Dark Star
(User Rating: 1 ) by MoonlitAngel on
Tuesday, 12th March 2019 @ 04:53:44 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I absolutely love this!! so many amazing lines:
"A taste of thick and stagnant air"
"Til every dream of love departs"
"With reapers call from velvet voice
A sirens song that clouds the choice"
"So twinkle, twinkle where you are
Oh darkened, cold and evil star"
such fantastic imagery! and the cadence flows perfectly. amazing! I want more! |
|
|
Re: Dark Star
(User Rating: 1 ) by softerware on
Tuesday, 12th March 2019 @ 08:08:21 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I had a boyfriend just like this...
Seriously, love the rhyme and rhythm, and the imagery is luscious an picturesque.
This could be a very dark poem, but instead it points a finger at a villain to explain why love fails.
To tell a tale is skillful; to make it rhyme is clever; to set it all to a repeating rhythm is an art form.
I envy your talent.
softerware |
|
|
Re: Dark Star
(User Rating: 1 ) by ingeniusidiot on
Tuesday, 12th March 2019 @ 09:31:29 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
this could very easily be the adult rendition of
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I have to agree that you
have many brilliant lines here. In words that draw
the reader in you have shown us the reasoning behind
why and how love nips us in the butt...but maybe we
are the hardheaded ones to stand back up and try
again. What some see as resilience others see as
foolishness. Yet we are the only ones that can make
up our own minds about how we handle things and
whether or not we are going to stand back up and
give it another go.
GREAT piece of writing my friend you have
amazing talent.
Rich |
|
|
Re: Dark Star
(User Rating: 1 ) by JamesStockdale on
Wednesday, 13th March 2019 @ 09:31:27 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This was great. What a flow too.
You can borrow my attic any day buddy.....
Barkeep pass him another bottle of Ron Rico 151 |
|
|
Re: Dark Star
(User Rating: 1 ) by alicewhite on
Sunday, 27th October 2019 @ 11:59:53 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I/'/m a black star
I/'/m a star star
I/'/m not a wandering star
At the centre of it all
Fools gold falls
Alchemical gold
As heir
Lucifer
Lady Lazarus
Rises
Why so serious
The jokers always full of surprises,
Love love love your poem here
Its inspiring to say the least!!!
Brilliant
|
|
|
|