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Array ( [sid] => 186969 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Solemn Swearings [time] => 2020-05-08 20:37:42 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Truth in advertising brought a lot of firms to shame.
That’s why the things they tell us aren’t “fact” – they call them “claims”.

Carter’s Little Liver Pills did nothing for our liver.
And Geratol’s elixir was mostly alcohol and sugar.

Talcum powder kept us dry, thanks largely to asbestos.
The government had to intervene to take care of the rest, though.

The Marlboro man taught us to smoke.
Even doctors took a toke. Lung cancer killed a lot of folk.

The Kent “micronite” filter was asbestos mixed with cotton.
And we inhaled it thinking how much safer smoking’s gotten.

That soft “Corinthian leather” that Chrysler bragged about
was just a name that they made up, to sell more cars no doubt.

Volkswagen claimed their cars would not pollute, when in fact,
they lost 61 billion to The Clean Air Act.

Dannon said its yogurt would boost immunity.
They paid 45 million when a lawsuit came to be.

13 million dollars for false advertising.
Red Bull drinks told buyers their product gave us wings.

Airborn spray proclaimed that it could ward of colds and flu.
A 30 million dollar lawsuit found it was untrue.

60-year-old Twiggy appeared in Olay ads.
They airbrushed out her wrinkles. It didn’t work. Too bad.

Elantra and Tiberon inflated their horsepower.
Hyundai paid a whopping fine of 85 million dollars.
840 thousand owners all happily received
225 dollars each because they’d been deceived.

Equal sued Splenda for saying it’s made from sugar.
Equal won, but no one’s telling how much the lawsuit figured.

Wrigley claimed that Eclipse Gum’s ingredients killed germs.
Wrigley disagreed but paid 6 million in court terms.

Taco Bell used oat flour in their seasoned beef.
Oat flour’s not a “seasoning” claimed the lawsuit brief.
They won the suit and saved their loot, to their great relief.
Which means we’re getting oat flour with our taco beef.

If you want to buy her diamonds, they soon may be on sale.
150 stores are closing – Kay, Jared, and Zales.
If their prices seem alike the reason just may be
That jewelry giant Signa Jewelers is the owner of all three.

Campbells and Progresso; Kraft, Hellman’s and others
like Dixie Cup and Solo, have all sued one another!

Friendly competition has received the royal boot.
It’s not about the quality- it’s all about the loot!

[comments] => 7 [counter] => 122 [topic] => 21 [informant] => softerware [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
Solemn Swearings

Contributed by softerware on Friday, 8th May 2020 @ 08:37:42 PM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems



Truth in advertising brought a lot of firms to shame.
That’s why the things they tell us aren’t “fact” – they call them “claims”.

Carter’s Little Liver Pills did nothing for our liver.
And Geratol’s elixir was mostly alcohol and sugar.

Talcum powder kept us dry, thanks largely to asbestos.
The government had to intervene to take care of the rest, though.

The Marlboro man taught us to smoke.
Even doctors took a toke. Lung cancer killed a lot of folk.

The Kent “micronite” filter was asbestos mixed with cotton.
And we inhaled it thinking how much safer smoking’s gotten.

That soft “Corinthian leather” that Chrysler bragged about
was just a name that they made up, to sell more cars no doubt.

Volkswagen claimed their cars would not pollute, when in fact,
they lost 61 billion to The Clean Air Act.

Dannon said its yogurt would boost immunity.
They paid 45 million when a lawsuit came to be.

13 million dollars for false advertising.
Red Bull drinks told buyers their product gave us wings.

Airborn spray proclaimed that it could ward of colds and flu.
A 30 million dollar lawsuit found it was untrue.

60-year-old Twiggy appeared in Olay ads.
They airbrushed out her wrinkles. It didn’t work. Too bad.

Elantra and Tiberon inflated their horsepower.
Hyundai paid a whopping fine of 85 million dollars.
840 thousand owners all happily received
225 dollars each because they’d been deceived.

Equal sued Splenda for saying it’s made from sugar.
Equal won, but no one’s telling how much the lawsuit figured.

Wrigley claimed that Eclipse Gum’s ingredients killed germs.
Wrigley disagreed but paid 6 million in court terms.

Taco Bell used oat flour in their seasoned beef.
Oat flour’s not a “seasoning” claimed the lawsuit brief.
They won the suit and saved their loot, to their great relief.
Which means we’re getting oat flour with our taco beef.

If you want to buy her diamonds, they soon may be on sale.
150 stores are closing – Kay, Jared, and Zales.
If their prices seem alike the reason just may be
That jewelry giant Signa Jewelers is the owner of all three.

Campbells and Progresso; Kraft, Hellman’s and others
like Dixie Cup and Solo, have all sued one another!

Friendly competition has received the royal boot.
It’s not about the quality- it’s all about the loot!





Copyright © softerware ... [ 2020-05-08 20:37:42]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Solemn Swearings (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 9th May 2020 @ 09:11:18 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
As of late Gilead/'/s Remdesivir came about
with billions of government money, not any private investors money, it reduces a fourteen day hospital stay to eleven days, and yet, Gilead is primed to make a lot of profit.

It/'/s almost free the claims that marketeers can make/
if you ever looked at all the potions on the shelf at your local pharmacy that do not require FDA clearance I am sure you will find some concoction that will something that will enhance your memory, or fill you microbiom with
vital bacterium that will make your skin glow

and the pharmacist will give you a thumbs up,
because they use it, they will swear by it,
or actually they won/'/t,
you/'/ll just imagine that they did


Re: Solemn Swearings (User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on Sunday, 10th May 2020 @ 03:51:56 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
OMG
I love these flows of knowledge
you are so good with it
some of those things I did not even know
thanx for sharing
keeping my mind working....


Re: Solemn Swearings (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 10th May 2020 @ 05:20:38 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
// I love these poems. So informative and enjoyable while we learn things. Thank you!

Sumthin gave me wings, though. 😳

*flies away*


Re: Solemn Swearings (User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on Wednesday, 13th May 2020 @ 07:45:40 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
So wonderful to run into you. Brilliant, as always.

Best,

Invierno


Re: Solemn Swearings (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 21st May 2020 @ 06:26:04 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Very very informative and a testament to your matured mind.

Which means we’re getting oat flour with our taco beef

This made me laugh


Re: Solemn Swearings (User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on Friday, 22nd May 2020 @ 01:38:06 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I understand why people rip off other people, but then again, I/'/ll never really understand how they convince themselves its justified - there/'/s not supposed to be that many psychopaths and sociopaths in the herd.

Nicely framed.

S.


Re: Solemn Swearings (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 25th May 2020 @ 05:33:30 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Yay the Marlboro Man. 😟

So, I can read/watch/listen to many stimuli and so many perspectives can come into it when I/'/m in a different mood. So the first couple of times I was like...oh, wow, I didn/'/t know that or yeah, I remember that as I read this. Tonight I/'/m all in it in a more serious train of thought.

Geritol...wow, it probably killed diabetics.

Definitely cigarettes.

Zales? Wow, sad.

I like coming here so don/'/t get me wrong. It/'/s just that some of this is actually kind of sad. Just sayin/'/.

Thank you,

Dugan





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