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Array ( [sid] => 39595 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Read between the lines [time] => 2004-03-21 10:52:09 [hometext] => Please comment on this poem. Thanks!!!.-luckycharm [bodytext] => You try to say things,
To hurt me on the inside,
You wan't things your way

And so you try to hide,
Words that u think will hurt me,
And u believe no one will console me

You got a certain look,
On your face,
That makes u be hooked

On your case,
Even though u try to defeat,
You still will never win

You think u smart,
And so mature,
You can't play no part

Of a fool's fool,
But in the end,
You gonna sin

Why do u try to hurt me again,
You can't pretend,
It's like u can't recieve

What u should believe,
So u need to take some time,
And read between the lines [comments] => 5 [counter] => 176 [topic] => 6 [informant] => luckycharm [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => AngryPoetry )
Read between the lines

Contributed by luckycharm on Sunday, 21st March 2004 @ 10:52:09 AM in AEST
Topic: AngryPoetry



You try to say things,
To hurt me on the inside,
You wan't things your way

And so you try to hide,
Words that u think will hurt me,
And u believe no one will console me

You got a certain look,
On your face,
That makes u be hooked

On your case,
Even though u try to defeat,
You still will never win

You think u smart,
And so mature,
You can't play no part

Of a fool's fool,
But in the end,
You gonna sin

Why do u try to hurt me again,
You can't pretend,
It's like u can't recieve

What u should believe,
So u need to take some time,
And read between the lines




Copyright © luckycharm ... [ 2004-03-21 10:52:09]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Read between the lines (User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on Sunday, 21st March 2004 @ 10:59:04 AM AEST
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I think it's a good poem, and it started out fine, but then I think in my opinion , you got lazy and started to use shortcuts. This takes away from a wonderful piece.
Please do not take this wrong, you have talent, i just wished you didn't use shortcuts.
My opinion only, take it or leave it.


Re: Read between the lines (User Rating: 1 )
by silent on Sunday, 21st March 2004 @ 11:46:07 AM AEST
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Nice write, seems that the simple structure and rhyming don't flow to the degree they could. Don't get me wrong i like it, just my point of view....


Re: Read between the lines (User Rating: 1 )
by New_York_Chick on Sunday, 21st March 2004 @ 12:25:46 PM AEST
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i like the way you express your feelings
great poem


Re: Read between the lines (User Rating: 1 )
by ThePumpkinKing on Sunday, 21st March 2004 @ 02:54:13 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
i agree with all the above comments...i like this a lot though, good job =)


Re: Read between the lines (User Rating: 1 )
by PoetryLover72 on Sunday, 21st March 2004 @ 10:08:04 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Um yeah, it's a good poem but I must agree with the rest. Not trying to put it in a bad way, but yeah.




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