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everybody loves a tragedy (for amy)
Contributed by
iodinelove
on
Sunday, 16th January 2005 @ 11:01:38 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
Hello old friend,
It has been a great many years since I first spoke with you. That day is the sharpest day in my memory, down to the dried, sticky coke on the outside of the bottle that I held as I casually caught your eye; your eye the dawn of the longest day of my life.
To be a soldier, you said, smiling at the mirror at the glass castle grocery depot, to be a man; away with these lashes, away with this long, rusty hair. Away with skirts and dresses; pink and yellow perfumed skies; away with all of this mirror, this face, these eyes; I want your eyes, such deep and starry eyes.
I look in the mirror now, amy, and those starry eyes you saw so long ago are tired now, are deep set still, are longing for their close. Amy, would my life have been any different, had you not taken that bottle; had you not needed to change.
Two days, amy, and I am closer to you than I am to any that i love. Two days amy and a kiss upon my cheek and needing to change to be a soldier again amy in that vast empty street and the entirety of a desert. Two days I found the world amy, and you were that world you were all the seas all the skies of my life broken and torn with thunder.
After you left, I ran away. I never stopped running. I've been back to that desert a few times now, back to the haunted white sands. John is gone, amy, he left faster than you buried in his sleep. Sandy too, her end on the streets some alley way amy, it all went away it all turned to *****.
I am alone now. I go to waffle house and laugh and talk and i am alone. I am alone and it eats from the inside I am alone and all the dirt of my life is hidden beneath my scars my broken breath, my dying lung, my wrist; I tried to follow amy, I tried and could not force across the blade I tried so hard I wept I screamed, Liz hit and drove across the screen and I am still alone. I am still alone so many years ago I am older I am bearded now, with the same broken smile blue jeans, that same striped shirt Amanda gave me.
If you had stayed, I wonder if I would have changed.
Love always,
Copyright ©
iodinelove
... [
2005-01-16 23:01:38]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: everybody loves a tragedy (for amy)
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 16th January 2005 @ 11:13:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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very sad but written well as always.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: everybody loves a tragedy (for amy)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 16th January 2005 @ 11:32:00 PM AEST
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| OMG how heartbreaking...well done. |
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Re: everybody loves a tragedy (for amy)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 12:00:59 AM AEST
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| you can change on your own. |
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Re: everybody loves a tragedy (for amy)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 10:44:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| so sad, well written. |
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