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bent and broken

Contributed by nick_is_no_poet on Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 06:58:24 PM in AEST
Topic: oops



Silently choking
as he stands there, soaking
in the blood
of an innocent.
after finishing the war,
slaying every man,
leaving everydoor,
Unlocked

life after death
death before life
what really happens
when you're under the knife
and when you're just waiting
as the surgeon is baiting
the rest of your life
on that sharp, long knife




Copyright © nick_is_no_poet ... [ 2005-05-16 18:58:24]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: bent and broken (User Rating: 1 )
by bethers_is_my_baby on Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 07:08:01 PM AEST
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hmmm im not sure exactly what to make of it. i dont not like it :) but i dont know, i guess its just not my style. but u seem like a good writer, ill have to read some of your other works.

*~peace and love~*


Re: bent and broken (User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 07:58:47 PM AEST
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Hey welcome to the site!
I liked your poem. Dark, but we have plenty of dark poems on here...I especially like the lines:
life after death
death before life
good work....
Carol


Re: bent and broken (User Rating: 1 )
by Kyarn on Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 08:08:31 PM AEST
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I like that alot! The rhyme style is very lyrical. It flows well. Nice job.


Re: bent and broken (User Rating: 1 )
by Fears on Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 08:12:53 PM AEST
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wow, that is really scary and i love itt! I think that yuo are a verry good poet who has a lotta stonge visual points in your work!! awsssomme!!

~Fears~

Dark kicks ass




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