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Choices

Contributed by Lovingcritters on Wednesday, 18th May 2005 @ 01:55:30 PM AEST
Topic: true

HOMELESS (PART THREE)

I had never been through a divorce before, and so had no idea what to expect. I was very naive about the courts etc. I'd always been law abiding and just assumed that there was justice in the United States of America. I was soon to learn that there is only justice depending upon who the Judge in the court room is.
In the beginning of this whole ordeal, I had allowed myself to be the victim. I was so hurt to finally learn the truth about my cruel and unfeeling husband, that I was feeling sorry for myself. I know now that when you go through a traumatic experience such as this one, you must stop concentrating on yourself and your feelings. You can't be the "victim" because everyone around you could care less! There is no kindness, no caring, no mercy. I learned you have to be alert and wide awake. You can't depend on your attorney, or the judge, or anyone for that matter, just yourself, and you must check everything also. I've never experienced such incompetence by professionals. I found they can be down right stupid, and unreasoning. Was quite a shock to me, but one I will remember forever.

I had gone to the Safehouse there in Illinois and asked for a good lawyer. She couldn't even drive a car, and that should have told me right away how incompetent she was, but I was sure that since she had been recommended to me, from a worthy source, she would really help me. I had to drive her the 30 miles both ways to and from the courtroom. She was also intimidated by the judge, and was even afraid to approach him or the witnesses without first asking his permission!

I knew this session was not going to be easy because Montie had refused to visit with his father, and I had a sense in the pit of my stomach, that I was losing "Big Time!" But you must never give up hoping and I never stopped praying and asking for His courage and His strength to carry on. I was way out of my league and knew I had to lean heavily upon Him, or I'd collapse with fright!
The court was opened and Judge Lincoln asked Montie to accompany him into his chambers alone! I protested, and found out later I was right also, Montie had the right to be accompanied by his attorney, but Judge Lincoln didn't respect the law of the court, he was only interest in His law!
When I first entered this old courthouse in Douglas County, Illinois I had time to search around, and found that it had been the court house where PresidentLincoln had debated with his colleagues many times, and it still had the same old marble floors etc. as when he was there. I loved President Lincoln, and had done much research on him down through the years, so I was more or less comforted to know this. However, it didn't have anything to with my case, I was thinking naively again. Just because President Lincoln was honest, didn't mean all others in this county would be. I was soon to find out just how dishonest this Judge Lincoln could be.
We had to wait for Montie to return before we could convene, and when I saw Montie's face, I knew immediately that the Judge had been mean to him, because he had turned red, and that told me he was upset, and angry. After Montie was seated the judge then proceeded to tell the whole court room that Montie and he had had a good talk, and that he had promised Montie he wouldn't divulge the conversation, and Montie had promised not to say anything either! I was just livid!!! Almost jumped up and asked him why he was determined about keeping the conversation secret, if it was not abusive, and truthful, then why did he feel he had to keep it a secret? But I let this one slide! I was appalled, Montie was in my bond, and in my care, he hadn't even ask my permission to talk with my son. Who did this Judge Lincoln think he was anyway, God? I could not believe this was happening in a court of law here in America.....I watched the stenographer, the clerks etc. and everyone seemed to think this is just the way things were meant to be, including my attorney who sat there and acted like she was taking notes. I didn't dare talk to her since she had already warned me about disturbing her in court. Just think of that, I was paying this woman to represent me, and I couldn't even ask her advice in court? When I called her on the phone she never returned my calls either. Well, it was obvious that I couldn't lean on her, since she was leaning on me. There was only one that I could trust and lean heavily on and that was my Loving Creator.
I knew that Montie would tell me everything that went on in that room with the judge, and if I found out he had abused Montie in anyway, shape or form, I was going to take him on. I'd do it right there in open court if need be. I was sick and tired of being the "victim" any longer, I had "fire" in my belly now, and was going to take complete advantage of it!!!

Judge Lincoln opened the court by looking at me and Montie, and wanting to know why as he put it "that young boy" had to come to court with me, that after all, he shouldn't be there sitting with me. I explained to him that I lived 30 miles from the court room and I had no one to care for Montie in the city I lived in, and I wasn't about to leave him there alone. What if something would happen to him? He seemed satisfied with my answer until I added that the divorce was not suppose to take place in his court room, I lived in Champaign County and so did my husband, and it should have been held in that county. That riled him a bit, and he informed me that he would hold the divorce proceedings anywhere he liked, and he had chose this county, and if I didn't like it, just try not showing up and he would throw me in jail! (Remember he was a former classmate of my husband's. Seemed rather strange it was held in his court room and not the court house where it belonged????

Through out the whole proceedings I addressed him with respect, I called him "Your Honor" and never once said anything disrespectful to him, but I never backed down, nor remained silent either. I spoke the truth to him, and he couldn't handle that. No one probably in all the years he had been on the bench has ever talked back to him, and he was visibly shook to say the least. He was a good friend of my husband's and I knew I had 3 strikes against me before we even started this session, but was determined not to just stand by, and let him say whatever he pleased. (If you ever get the chance please get a book of Gerry Spence's an attorney from Jackson Hole, Wyoming.) He is famous for letting judges know and everyone else in a court room that you can speak up, and should speak up, or the truth will not be heard.

The judge then wanted to address the visitation issue, since Montie refused to visit his father. He explained to me that he had received the physiologist's report, and according to her,it was because of me that Montie was not visiting his father. Since he was talking directly to me now, instead of going through my attorney like he should have, I decided I could better serve myself by standing up, so I stood on my feet to answer him.
I said, "Your honor, I too read that report, and understand that is just her opinion, and as such that does not make it the truth.
He then said, "Then you are telling me that you are not keeping Montie from visiting his father Mrs. Pyle?"
I said, "That is right Your Honor, I drive Montie every two weeks to the place you designated he is to go, and I tell him to get out and go to his father's apartment. He refuses to do so, then he tells me that if I leave him behind, he will go to the highway near by and hitch-hike home!"
He then repeated, "This report also states that the physiologist feels you are "brain washing" Montie, and that he would like to visit his father and go to baseball games with him etc."
At this time I felt I must bring up another law that I heard about, and did research on at the libary. Since my attorney would not help me, I went to the library and found in the laws of Illinois that a young person in a divorce proceedings by the age 14 has the right to chose for themselves whom they will and will not visit. Montie was 14 by now, and so I told the judge just that. I was respectful, but I didn't mince any words when I said, "Judge Lincoln I understand according to Illinois Law that Montie has the right to chose whom he will visit. You are not above the law are you Your honor?"
He was angry and his face turned red, and he began to yell, "I'm the judge of this divorce proceeding and if I say that Montie is going to visit his father until he is 18, then that's the way it will be!"
I still had not sit down, and so I stood to hear him say this, "Do you want me to hold you in contempt of court?"
I thought I knew what that meant, but wasn't sure so I asked him, "I'm not sure what that means Your Honor, could you please tell me?"
He yelled, "That means I can put you in jail is that what you want?"
I answered, "That would be all right with me Judge Lincoln, at least I'd have three meals a day, but who would take care of my son?"
I had called his bluff, and it had backfired, he was so upset and now didn't know what to say or do, He called both the attorneys up to his bench for a conference, and when my attorney came back and sat down she said, "You'd better see to it that Montie visits his father!"
Some more intimidation, but also now I was convinced that my own attorney didn't believe Montie and I either. She thought we were both lying about the sexual molestation.
I glanced at the Judge sitting higher than myself, and he was glaring at me with hatred in his eyes. I was thinking to myself, "So you've made yourself a God now, even higher than the law?" It felt like he was shooting real bullets at me. No one had ever stood up to him, ever, and since this had never happened before, he didn't really know what to do.
I was bound and determined to stand behind Montie......no one else would. His own father who should have been protecting him from sexual perverts was one himself. He knew that he had sexually molested Montie, I knew it, Montie knew it and so did God.
The judge then reiterated that Montie was to visit his father at the specified time or I would find myself in jail. It was my husband that had brought us back to court, and I knew he didn't want to take care of Montie, and we were not going to budge an inch, so it was going to be interesting to see what would happen next!
Montie said he would go to jail too if they insisted he visit his father. I was sure, or at least
I was fairly sure they wouldn't send him to jail, but knowing the reasoning powers of this judge, perhaps I should have been afraid. It would be just like him to do so. I didn't think the law would have allowed it, but then Judge Lincoln was the law. He made it up as he went along.
Montie related the conversation he had in theJudge's chamber. and told me that Judge Lincoln had tried to convince him that his father had not harmed him in anyway, and that he was a good father, and Montie should visit him. Montie said "I just sat there and listened. Then Montie told me, "Judge Lincoln isn't me, so how would he know what my father did to me?" After hearing this, I sat down to my typewriter and started writing Judge Lincoln letters. I wrote him one each and every day. I told him he had no right to take Montie into his chamber without my permission, and that he would never visit his father every again. I also added that I believed Montie, and that Judge Lincoln's courtroom was a mockery of justice, and someday he would have to be accountable for his actions just like all the rest of us.
I wrote him so many letters, that finally he wrote back and said that if I didn't stop writing him letters he was going to throw me in jail! I don't think he learned anything from this experience. I'm still waiting for Judge Lincoln to throw me in jail.......that was 12 years ago and he hasn't gotten around to doing it yet!
After everything was said and done, every two weeks we went through the same ritual.
I would drive Montie to his father's apartment, and then we would drive back. He wouldn't even get out the car, but we knew we had to do this until Montie was 17 years old. I found out from another judge that was nice enough to speak with me, that in the state of Illinois they were giving freedom to teenagers at the age of 17, if they had a permanent address.

I noticed such a change in Montie. He had always had trouble with bed wetting, and was always so ashamed each time it happened, he would cry. I told him that there was nothing to cry about, after all it was just an accident, no one would wet their bed on purpose, and always hugged him afterward. The very day after court that Montie didn't have to go see his father any longer he just stopped wetting the bed. He was no longer under any pressure, and finally he could get a whole night's rest.
He also began to blossom in every way. To this day he has never called his father, written him, or made any attempt to contact him in anyway. He has made up his mind, and no one nor anything is going to change it. He is now 25 years old, and just the other day he came home saying, "Mom I have to tell you what happened to me today. I was driving up to a stop light, and it just sort of hit me out of the blue, that the last time I saw my father was in 1993. that's 12 years Mom since I last laid eyes on him, and I don't feel anything for him anymore!"
When he told me this I said a mental prayer at that very moment, thanking God that he had given Montie the courage and fortitude to stay away from him. Like so many others that I've known , this man could have completely devastated Montie's life! If Montie was to go back to him, he still could, and continue to harm him for as long as his father lived.
Yes, being thankful doesn't even come close when thinking about all the marvelous blessings we have received. The best one of course is being set free from the sexual pervert that we thought was a great person. But we both realized this was just one hurdle for us to get over, little did we know we had bigger ones to jump in the future.

What had I learned from all of this? For one, never be afraid, and that is easy to say, but after looking back on this whole affair, I realized that if more people would stand up to these people of authority who think they are Gods and that we should bow down to them and worship them, then maybe, we could all topple them from their thrones. Bring them down with us where they belong! We have got to stop letting them intimidate us with threats of jail, fines etc. Call their bluff for once, they are so surprised they don't know what to do next! Of course be sure you are in the right, or you may end up in jail after all!*smiles*
I had promised myself that I would fulfill my promise"
"Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator, and above all, thou shalt not be a bystander."
"Holocaust Museum, Washington DC.

I was no longer a victim to anyone not even the Judge
I would never be the perpetrator,
And best of all, I had not stood by helplessly and let them
harm Montie anymore than he was already!

HOMELESS PART FOUR
of my story will take me back to court for the final decree, and afterwards how we
knew we would have to leave Illinois to stay alive.
We end up homeless in the mountains of Colorado,
Without any money, food, and only our 6 little companions (dogs)
that kept us from freezing to death in -18 below zero temperatures.
This is a true story,
Written by Lovingcritters
consue
Montie my son is going write soon also,
to tell you his version of all these
events, and how he felt about them
also.
Until next time then, I'll be working
on the next chapter.

Copyright © Lovingcritters ... [2005-05-1801:55:30]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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