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Array ( [sid] => 181975 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => In your dreams [time] => 2015-10-18 00:27:04 [hometext] => A perfect woman [bodytext] => Let me understand this, you want a queen of hearts;
A twenty-something ingenue with 50 years of smarts?
Who’ll work all day and dance all night and clean your little reign;
Without a life to call her own; who never will complain.

A someone who will understand your every up and down;
Whose bod is bad bikini-clad or in a strapless gown.
Who isn’t married to her job; and never brings it home.
Who cooks and sews, and waits for you when left there on her own.

She mustn’t lie or cheat or steal, she mustn’t come with baggage;
And you’d prefer to see her cook, than roll and smoke the cabbage?
Someone cute and popular who has no friends above you.
Whose only goal in life is to comfort, bed, and love you.

Who thinks that you are faultless; and listens when you talk.
And doesn’t need to wear a leash when taken for a walk.
To share with you her paycheck and all your worldly bills;
To pick up all your dry cleaning and order all your pills?

Who understands that boys are boys and so will men be men;
Who watches sports, but doesn’t swear, and never wins at gin!
She’s always in the mood for sex, one way or the other;
Whose figure never changes though she’s three times a grandmother.

She must adore your potbelly, and love your balding head;
Preferring beer and TV to a dinner out instead.
Well bunky, I’ve got news for you; this woman can be found;
On Prozac in a doctor’s care, or maybe prison-bound.
For attempted murder of the man that she adored;
Who's future life in prison seems a well deserved reward.

There’s just one thing more deadly than a world of perfect men;
And that’s a perfect woman, who marries one of them!

[comments] => 7 [counter] => 315 [topic] => 7 [informant] => softerware [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )

In your dreams

Contributed by softerware on Sunday, 18th October 2015 @ 12:27:04 AM in AEST
Topic: HumorPoetry

Let me understand this, you want a queen of hearts;
A twenty-something ingenue with 50 years of smarts?
Who’ll work all day and dance all night and clean your little reign;
Without a life to call her own; who never will complain.

A someone who will understand your every up and down;
Whose bod is bad bikini-clad or in a strapless gown.
Who isn’t married to her job; and never brings it home.
Who cooks and sews, and waits for you when left there on her own.

She mustn’t lie or cheat or steal, she mustn’t come with baggage;
And you’d prefer to see her cook, than roll and smoke the cabbage?
Someone cute and popular who has no friends above you.
Whose only goal in life is to comfort, bed, and love you.

Who thinks that you are faultless; and listens when you talk.
And doesn’t need to wear a leash when taken for a walk.
To share with you her paycheck and all your worldly bills;
To pick up all your dry cleaning and order all your pills?

Who understands that boys are boys and so will men be men;
Who watches sports, but doesn’t swear, and never wins at gin!
She’s always in the mood for sex, one way or the other;
Whose figure never changes though she’s three times a grandmother.

She must adore your potbelly, and love your balding head;
Preferring beer and TV to a dinner out instead.
Well bunky, I’ve got news for you; this woman can be found;
On Prozac in a doctor’s care, or maybe prison-bound.
For attempted murder of the man that she adored;
Who's future life in prison seems a well deserved reward.

There’s just one thing more deadly than a world of perfect men;
And that’s a perfect woman, who marries one of them!

Copyright Â© softerware ... [ 2015-10-18 00:27:04]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: In your dreams (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 18th October 2015 @ 12:45:59 AM AEST
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*insert Homer Simpson scream right about here ----> * Wonderfully sarcastic! heeheehee Thank you, Sir Timotheus

Re: In your dreams (User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on Sunday, 18th October 2015 @ 04:17:06 AM AEST
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Great entertaining poem as always.
I must confess you played a trick on us.
You switched the word man for woman.

The new " modern" woman can't cook, clean, or any of that. That was lost decades ago in their evolution. It's no longer expected of them.

If you married that, you deserved that. LoL.

Another winner.

James

Re: In your dreams (User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on Sunday, 18th October 2015 @ 06:38:58 AM AEST
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bravo!
S.

Re: In your dreams (User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on Monday, 19th October 2015 @ 06:22:07 AM AEST
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I love this! You just can't help but read it in the manner of two schoolgirls playing with one of those paper fortune-tellers, or some sort of really long jump-rope games.

I would say I'm proud to say, but instead I'll say I'm wise to say, that many of these things I'll look past, or help to encourage self-inclined improvement- so long as the favor is returned in kind.

Ahh, Jaye, your poems are such a treat. :)

Re: In your dreams (User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on Wednesday, 21st October 2015 @ 11:54:03 PM AEST
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Thanx I needed this one

Re: In your dreams (User Rating: 1 )
by legato29 on Tuesday, 27th October 2015 @ 07:46:58 PM AEST
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Haha! This one is great too! It complements Dancing Cinderella very nicely. I love the way the rhyme scheme adds so much to the humor and overall 'feel' of the poem. The rhymes seem so free and unforced....how do you achieve this? This should be published together with the other one as an illustrated book. I can just visualize the humorous pictures complementing each verse! :D

Re: In your dreams (User Rating: 1 )
by thomasu01 on Tuesday, 10th November 2015 @ 06:06:21 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Yes please, I want one of those too.
This is so good, I love it and to think I had a strange experience I wrote poems about, where the young girl left her picture on my phone all pretty and made up, Asking me next week if I dreamed about her?
Unfortunately I did not see the picture until 3 weeks later.

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