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Pain
Contributed by
errious
on
Tuesday, 12th December 2006 @ 11:54:13 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Muffled by anger
Your sadness seeps through
Drilling holes
Bringing pain and tears
Hidden within the outer shell
Like...
An egg, ready to crack, seeping
Dying
Inside but
helpless to your fears
As you fail
Knife in the chest
You sink to the ground
Lower
But
Your mind leaves
Departs the body which has tortured it
Failed it
You have no drive
You lose out
You die
Inside
More irrationalism
More Unknowns
More...
Pain
You Collapse
Fall to a state
Lower
Than hell itself
through the air...
The betrayal as it stings you face
Rips your thoughts
Unties the knots
In the brain
As you sink lower
Lower
And death haunts
And the ground nears
Closer...
Closer...
And you shut your eyes
Tight
And just
Fall...
Copyright ©
errious
... [
2006-12-12 11:54:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by NDean on
Tuesday, 12th December 2006 @ 12:15:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I like this poem. It seems to feel like falling which seems to be a main aspect of the poem.
It flows really well
Well done
Nathan |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by ever1der on
Tuesday, 12th December 2006 @ 12:17:13 PM AEST
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| I really like the use of the egg metaphor..It made the feelings more intense. |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Tuesday, 12th December 2006 @ 04:13:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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very interesting and very powerful write.. great job on the flow.. i like the ending too..
jenni |
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