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The Passing
Contributed by
MyChemicalRomanceHeLeNa
on
Sunday, 6th March 2005 @ 10:53:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
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I stand beside a stranger Of which I wish I knew Because ever since I lost myself this cold, dark world seems so strange to me I know not where I've been now Memories slowly fade For this darkness lingers, tearing them away this darkness has overtaken, much more than I could overcome So here I stand, alone and cold For have I lost the only reassuarance that i hold? There is a single message A lingering decite and within my worst enemy, I've worked to my defeat See nor touch, may not be done Darkness, reaching blindly for my simple holding on my only world is slowly caving in Defending itself from a war, that never ends My soul slowly awakens, one more battle lost Darkness thriving on my loss I lie alone and waiting Darkness to overcome As my timid soul awaits before me, so strange, so cold, so lost I watch it as it wonders through a piintless, endless waltz I may never help it, simply watch it search Seeking things in impossible ways, things it will never find, for darkness shall catch me first Slowly now I've lain me down Tired and afar As darkness takes my soul away I'll simply sit and watch For I may never save it, it gave itself away Although I understand this not, I wish for a warming hand And even though I know that all is gone.... It guess it has been over For quite a while now Now, i've sat and thought this over So many, many times dreaming in a nightmare, one that never ends I can't awaken what is not resting, can't fight what cant be seen But even as I watch this now I know what I have lost as darkness settles closer choices I'll regret so many have become so lost and simply given up but to do this I simply cannot proceed a chance at better luck a dwindling hope i know i cant hold to forever longer wont this just give up? And as I rise slwoly to my aching feet I turn to walk away and this darkness closely follows I've realized my wrong Darkness humming sadness, drifting through my fears I attempt to blur it out, just one last time ignore this calling voice but whispering softly, call my name I'll make my final choice My time at last has come now This darkness has won this war And now i lay me down to rest, Darkness thriving on my last breath As I lay me down to death.
Copyright ©
MyChemicalRomanceHeLeNa
... [
2005-03-06 22:53:36] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Passing
(User Rating: 1 ) by xtremcalibur on
Sunday, 6th March 2005 @ 11:02:58 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Ok, here's the deal. I realize that you wrote this several years ago. Back on it; shorten it a bit. Put some thought into it and please; it's devoid of passion, which it was meant to be. It is good and a lot of good things in it. Just when I was about to stop reading it, a good thing popped up. So try redoing this and it could have the potential of being a masterpiece. Thank you for sharing. |
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Re: The Passing
(User Rating: 1 ) by deadreckoning1983 on
Sunday, 6th March 2005 @ 11:15:54 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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calibur is fulla *****. even if this was a horrible poem, which it's not, you should never ever "redo" any of your work. In censoring yourself you become a target for mediocrity. never change anytning you write. if you wanted it be different you woulda wrote it that way to begin with. keep up the good work and screw these other jerkoffs |
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