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I can't love you
Contributed by
Black13
on
Sunday, 6th June 2004 @ 11:13:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Now I may never
love you in my lifetime
but let's not waste right now.
For now heaven can wait
while you're in my arms.
Theres nothing left to say
on this cold December night.
I may want you baby,
and I may need you lovely,
but I'm never gonna love you.
Now I may never love you, no.
Theres only one woman
that I've ever loved in my life.
She left me cold and crying
one dark and stormy night.
She kissed me gently and
held me tightly one last time.
Said goodbye and packed her suitcase
then she walked right out of my life.
Baby please don't shed a tear
and please don't be sad.
Now I may want you,
and I may need you,
but theres no way that
I'm ever gonna love you.
Baby I'm sorry that I
can't lie to stop your tears.
Nothing will ever change my
mind or the way that I feel.
Copyright ©
Black13
... [
2004-06-06 23:13:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I can't love you
(User Rating: 1 )
by poetrygodslove on
Sunday, 6th June 2004 @ 11:17:22 PM AEST
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| beautiful beautiful but very very sad....... hope someday you can open your heart up for another.. time is short. one bad woman is not like a good one... a good one is out there....... sandy |
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Re: I can't love you
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 7th June 2004 @ 12:20:45 AM AEST
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Reminiscent of a song. Love is not an illusion. Love is real. Sometiimes it is the lovers that are not real. Don't pin a lifetime judgement of love on one woman or one relationship. I know that after many bad ones I found the best. It is gone now, but I will never forget it and will base my next one on what I learned from it.
Rita |
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Re: I can't love you
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Monday, 7th June 2004 @ 01:25:03 AM AEST
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This is tragically sad my friend, but time will heal your heart. There might always be that scar left by a love gone bad, but the pain will fade and believe it or not another will make you learn to trust and love again.
Very well done
Barkeep, a round for my friend
Larry |
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Re: I can't love you
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Monday, 7th June 2004 @ 01:33:26 AM AEST
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| Its not a sin..just warm your self..but don't let the flames touch your hands. beautiful write. venkat |
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Re: I can't love you
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Monday, 7th June 2004 @ 08:54:21 AM AEST
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Meat Loaf?
Stitch |
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Re: I can't love you
(User Rating: 1 )
by AcrosticCacophany on
Monday, 7th June 2004 @ 11:18:50 AM AEST
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Moving. Very moving.
That said, I think there are a few minor gripes I would appreciate smoothed out if you should ever try to revise this poem.
Your wording sounds....too familiar, implying a use of trite or preconceived phrases and terms coined by others. Your lines, granting you the freedom of free verse, still seem a bit too ragged and rushed--maybe a few stanzas or some punctuation between the lines to slow it down a little? The way the poem just sprinted from the start to the finish didn't quite match the greiving apology within.
On another note, a few lines describing the lost love would add the nostalgic touch that most of these poems are perfected by.
We all know, just like almost everyone else, that there's pain in your life. If she hurt you, but you love her, at least make her beautiful. As is, it sounds less like a poem, and more like spoken word.
"Aroused connivers shall deprecate all that runs away, and sleep befalls escapism."
~Acrostic Cacophany |
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Re: I can't love you
(User Rating: 1 )
by Black13 on
Monday, 7th June 2004 @ 11:24:24 AM AEST
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| Obviously you haven't listened to the song. So I'll just ignore everything you said and continue smilling. |
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Re: I can't love you
(User Rating: 1 )
by STRaNGe_LiNDSeY on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 02:58:16 AM AEST
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Black... This was sad. But greatly written. And although I dont think I've ever heard the song, I really enjoy reading this. Thanks.
Lindsey |
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Re: I can't love you
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mihiri on
Friday, 25th June 2004 @ 10:40:12 AM AEST
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| Awesome! Well done Black 13 [Got anything 2 do wit Michael Ballack # 13 German football??] very deep and expressive. You'e good at making me cry! gd wrk pal! bibi, Mihiri |
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Re: I can't love you
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Saturday, 26th June 2004 @ 01:38:40 AM AEST
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| Nope, I havent heard the song but this was a great write which I thoroughly enjoyed. |
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Re: I can't love you
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 30th October 2004 @ 02:18:18 AM AEST
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Very sad but touchingly beautifull.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: I can't love you
(User Rating: 1 )
by visualizing_life on
Sunday, 16th January 2005 @ 08:51:13 PM AEST
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its a good poem but u cant let one bad experience w/ love not let u love nemore u may never know wat ull miss...just a thought..
vl |
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Re: I can't love you
(User Rating: 1 )
by OnceAnAngel on
Saturday, 1st January 2011 @ 10:43:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
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people come to our life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
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