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aDAm
Contributed by
dena
on
Wednesday, 18th May 2005 @ 02:24:10 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I cant believe I wanted you,
After I heard your past,
Hearing it made me want you more,
My life would be such a blast.
After the day that we had sex,
You started to drift away,
All the things I wanted to hear,
Were decreasing by the day.
You lost your job,
And I lost mine too,
Thinking we would be together,
Just me and you.
Over to Joshes ,
Again and again,
Tattoos and alcohol,
Were your very best friends.
I kept saying you could do better,
In every possible way,
Thinking I was treating u like *****,
When in fact it was the other way.
ONE day I cried,
Over your sorry ass,
Knowing I can do better,
Much better than my past.
Copyright ©
dena
... [
2005-05-18 14:24:10]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: aDAm
(User Rating: 1 )
by heartquake on
Wednesday, 18th May 2005 @ 02:46:27 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| great write... simple but effective in getting your poem across.... and i liked the fact that my name (Josh) was in it lol.... I liked the capitalization of 'one' in the last stanza, it showed the difference between how many times you've cried, and the strat of a story about you crying.... and i liked the realization of who was treating who like **** even though it seemed different at first.... keep up the good work, i really liked the fact that it seemed like an anthem for these kind of relationships... |
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